10.31.07

We had big plans for Halloween this year. Jordan wanted to be "Christmas" for Halloween, while Dylan wanted to be a motorcycle rider. I thought I could save some money, and impress people with my craftiness if I made the costumes myself.

When I got about halfway through Jordan's costume, I had a mental breakdown. I cannot sew, glue, or duct tape a Halloween outfit to save my life. Mark had to take over.

Dylan's costume wasn't even attempted. Instead, we opted to let him pick one out at the store. He chose a "Camo guy" outfit. It was really called "Delta Force" to be a military costume, but he knows nothing of military and/or war. "Camo guy" was just fine with me.

Mark went as a football player because he can, and I went as Mark because I'm cheap.

Here are the results:

Jordan was festive, Dylan was invisable to the untrained eye, Mark was big, and I looked like my brother.



And yes- Jordan was battery-powered:

Quickie

My older brother (and his whole family) and my younger sister were in for the week, so I have been neglecting the blog. I'll have more time to update after the weekend. For now- feast your eyes on what I'll be like in 40 more years......

Happy Easter

V Day

Happy Valentine's Day to all of you who celebrate it. Our family does, although not in the traditional way. We make cards for each other, and buy only one piece of chocolate for each kid. That's it. Maybe I'll make the kid's PB&J sandwiched in heart shapes today.

Here's some historical information on Valentine's Day from Wikipedia.com... You won't see this stuff on a Hallmark card.

Medieval and modern times

On St. Valentine's Day in 1349, roughly 2,000 Jews were burned to death by Christian mobs in Strasbourg. These mobs, led by nobles who owed large sums to

Jewish moneylenders (usury being a sin for Christians), blamed the Jews for poisoning the city's wells and causing the bubonic plague.[9]

Using the language of the law courts for the rituals of courtly love, a "High Court of Love" was established in Paris on Valentine's Day in 1400. The court dealt with love contracts, betrayals, and violence against women. Judges were selected by women on the basis of a poetry reading.[10][11]

The earliest surviving valentine dates from 1415. It is a poem written by Charles,

Duke of Orleans to his wife. At the time, the duke was being held in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt [12].

It is probable that the various legends about St. Valentine were invented during this period. Among these legends:

• On the evening before Valentine was to be martyred for being a Christian, he passed a love note to his jailer's daughter that read, "From your Valentine."

• During a ban on marriages of Roman soldiers by the Emperor Claudius II, St. Valentine secretly helped arrange marriages.[13]

Valentine's Day is mentioned by the character Ophelia in Hamlet: "Tomorrow is Saint Valentine's Day."

In 1836, relics of St. Valentine of Rome were donated by Pope Gregory XVI to the Whitefriar Street Carmelite Church in Dublin, Ireland. In the 1960s, the church was renovated and relics restored to prominence.[14]

In 1969, as part of a larger effort to pare down the number of saint days of purely legendary origin, the Church removed St. Valentine's Day as an official holiday from

its calendar. February 14 is now dedicated only to Saint Cyril and Saint Methodius.

Leftovers of my sanity to be served on Thursday

We have finally recovered from stuffing ourselves silly.

On Thursday, Mark and I had two turkey dinners.

Friday was Jordan's birthday. We celebrated by eating leftovers and a cake.

On Saturday, we celebrated again, this time with pizza and cake.

This morning we took the kids to a cafe/bakery to get some treats for breakfast. Dylan decided on a scone. His very first, in fact. He believes that I should be making them everyday. I believe otherwise.

Today started the give-all-your-extra-money-to-the-electric-companies season. It was nearly 60 degrees, and there has yet to be snow on the ground this season. Very rare for this area. So, it seemed a bit weird to see Santa all alone but for a few straggling vines from my asymmetric rose bush (?) plant (?)

Tomorrow starts rifle/cookie season. While Mark's out trying to blast a deer onto his dinner plate, I'll be slaving away in the kitchen, ala Donna Reid. By Wednesday night, I will be trying to find inventive ways to get the cookies made while I sit by and drink. Straw? Hydration pack? IV?

Quick Update

It has been a while since I posted, but understand that it's not you. It's me. Seriously though, I have been trying to get the house, family, and clothes in order for the giant holiday spectacular.

I have just registered for classes in the spring at my college. I was told that because of my grades, I may take the classes in the comfort of my own home, via the internet. Sweet.

Tomorrow night, very exciting news- I have HIRED A BABYSITTER! (GASP!) My brother in law turned 21, and Saturday night is when the whole family and all of our friends will crowd on a rented bus and go bar hopping (ahem- again). The babysitter will be here once the kids have gone to sleep. I did tell Dylan, just in case he wakes up to a stranger in the house. Then, turkey day is coming up, and although I won't be hosting a dinner, I'll be bringing food to the ones we are attending. Directly after Thanksgiving is Jordan's birthday.

Most bloggers are taking some time off as well, so I am following the pack. At least for a few more days.

The Mandatory Pictures

Jordan was a phenomenal skeleton. I had no face paint, so I used waterproof mascara. It worked well because he couldn't rub it off. Although, we never even showed him what he looked like in the mirror. He would have freaked out.












Dylan wore this frog costume that my mother made about 20 years ago. He wanted to be a scary frog after seeing Jordan, so he ribbit-growled. And yes, the mouth opens so he could see better.






We started trick or treating at 4pm. We got home at 10:30pm. We also had about fifteen pounds of candy in tow. Next week, we will be fifteen pounds heavier.

It's Craaaazy.

It's Halloween weekend, and I have procrastinated. Jordan is wearing a costume that Dylan wore a few years back, and I have no idea what Dylan is going to be. Maybe there's something in my mom's attic. Her spooky, scary, ghost-infested attic.

All I know is that there are plenty of horror movies for me to watch this weekend. I love scary movies, but hate myself afterwards for watching them. Mark hates it too. After torturing myself with them, I refuse to go to the bathroom by myself at night. I have him go in and check behind the shower curtain before I can enter. I know what you're thinking, but leaving them open doesn't work either. If you're familiar with any scary movie, you know that if you don't check, someone can, and will be hiding behind the bunched up curtain on the side of the tub....waiting.....watching......holding a sharp object.

Last night- The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
Tonight's movie- The Exorcist (1973)
Tomorrow- The Shining

Anyone ever see Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)? I was 9 when it came out. I'm still affected by it. If you can tell me how to kill the clowns, I'll give you a prize. Not really, but I'll be impressed. Really, really impressed.

Oh, the pic has nothing to do with Halloween. It's in celebration of Dylan's last soccer game. Woot.

07.04.2006

Thankfully, the majority of our holiday weekend was dry, and we were able to eat enough to expand our waistlines by 20% each. I would be happy in not eating another hot dog for another year. Blech.


An update on the flooding: we are all dried out. Only our basement took a hit. Only a few things were ruined. People by the river have begun to throw out all of their soggy belongings. I believe the area was lucky. It could have been a whole lot worse. I'd like to thank everyone for their concerns.

June 1st

Five years ago today.

Neither Mark nor I can remember what "our song" was, but we won't lose any sleep over it.

Happy Memorial Day

I'm sure it looked the same in many towns today. Blue skies, parade queens, hot dogs, and flags strewn around. We rode on Uncle Rick's antique fire truck again this year. Half way through the ride, we of course ran out of candy to throw.

My sister is in for the week, so if anyone is wondering why I will most likely be silent here- you have your reason. Bitches.


New pictures are posted in the photoshow above as well. I have recently looked at this site with IE7. It doesn't look right, and I'm not sure if it happens on earlier versions of IE as well. If you want the real life in falls experience, please view this site with Firefox.

Happy Mother's Day

Very nice, boys. I will expecting my diamond earrings tonight after dinner, however.

Seasonal bribing

I spent the day running around, doing errands. I do not want to be doing any work this weekend. My older brother and younger sister are in, and I'd like to spend some time with them.

So, I hard boiled 36 eggs, dyed them all, and broke only three. Then, I cooked the pineapple pudding that my Mom has every year, but I never eat. Then I made the desserts for the kids, because I know they won't like the lemon cake I made.

I also dusted, blah, blah, laundry, blah.... Lastly, I stuffed the crap plastic Easter eggs with jelly beans. The baskets are freshly packed with new, organicly dyed Easter basket grass.

After serving dinner and then cleaning up after the sloppy, thankless bastards, I decided to congradulate myself.

With all of their Easter candy. All of it.

Ha! Take that!

Yeah, I know, the candy stash needs to be replenished by Sunday, but I'm not worried.

We have two Easter parties tomorrow. They will get candy tomorrow, and I will simply put it in their baskets to find again on Sunday. Brilliant.

*A note on the Easter picture above: Mark and I took the kids to Harley Davidson because the bunny would be there for free pictures. As you can see, or can't- Jordan hated him, and promptly went into a hate-induced seizure. Dylan didn't mind sitting on the biker-in-the-bunny's lap, just as long as he got something. Please see how he made sure we held up to our end of the deal before sitting on his lap. Also, Dylan obviously doesn't trust anything with less than three distinct and definitive fingers on each hand. He never took his eyes off of them.

Happy St. Patrick's

You know what's great fun today, even before cracking open your first Killians Irish Red? Saying something, but putting a "Mc" in front of it.

Examples from tonight:

Mark: I'll do the McDishes

Dylan: I just McFarted.

Sarah: I have to stop at the McMac machine first.

Dylan: Jordan's a McButtFace.


Of course cursing allows for more humorous comments, however, with the presence of my young nieces who visit this site, I will allow for your imaginations to try them out for yourselves. Filthy McNasties you all are.

It's My Birthday

I am very good at spoiling surprises, so the boys surprised me a day early. I came home from lunch with my mom to this. Nothing could've made me happier. I am so desperately in love with those boys.

Best V-Days ever

When your child goes to preschool, you are suddenly aware of each and every holiday celebrated throughout the world. On the major holidays, the kids are practically seizing with excitement that has been building over the past week or so. Valentine's Day is no exception.

Last week, the children were told that if they wanted to give out Valentine Cards to their friends, they must make them for all of the kids, not just a select few. I agree with the rule. I wouldn't want my kid having his first taste of Valentine rejection in preschool.

We went to Target and chose Valentine cards that truly show what love means. Power Rangers SPD. Apparently they can love as much as they can kick some bad guy ass. The ones Dylan chose came with temporary tattoos as well. I was honestly pleased with his selection.

After Dylan filled one card out, he called it quits for the day. It took him five minutes to write out the first friend's name. The rest of them-Mark and I filled out, attached the tattoos, and closed them up with little heart stickers as best we could at 10pm, Sunday night.

Dylan had a great time at his party, everyone got tons of candy. Many of the moms gave out bags of candy to each of the kids, while some of the moms obviously didn't follow by the memo and gave Valentines to select children. I'll get them later....in the parking lot. Colin's mom especially.

We sorted through Dylan's Valentine bag when we got home, throwing away all of the cards, stickers, and pencils and pads of paper. Pencils and paper? He got three of each! Rubbish, give us candy!

So, while Jordan took a nap, Dylan and I spent the rest of the afternoon on the couch, under a woobie, eating Valentine candy, and watching Wallace and Gromit. Later last night, while I ran on the treadmill, I watched Mark mop my kitchen floor. (Ahhh) This morning before Mark left for work, he fed Jordan, got Dylan dressed, and gave me a gift card to Starbucks. Does it get any better? I dare to say no.

Joyeux Anniversaire

Lauren has just turned the wonderful age of 22. It's that first year that you can't really find yourself excited about your age, but can't get depressed over it either. She is unfortunately more than seven hours away from me getting an education. Smarty pants McGee. Becaus of this, my eldest and his bad-guy-killing buddy have to send their birthday wishes via digital pictures. When she comes home, I will give her a proper celebration that only an older sister could. For a full knowledge base of Lauren, please refer yourselves to this post. In the meantime, go out and have a tall, non fat, extra foamy chai latte in her honor. Happy Birthday, Sissy.

Happy Holidays

I cannot turn my head. When I get stressed out, my neck frrezes up on me, and I am forced to walk around with a stiff neck for days. Muscle relaxers, while tons of fun, essentially do nothing for my neck.

You see, I have been busy baking 565 cookies in three days. Dylan told me yesterday that he wants a blue Power Ranger for Christmas. Unless Santa can pull this thing out of his butt, Dylan will have to settle for the green one. Jordan is sick again with a cold while four more teeth are straining to emerge from his beautiful, screaching mouth. He has also decided that 4am is a good time to be getting up in the morning anymore.

My point? I won't be posting again until at least the 27th. If your looking for me, I'll be hiding in Nana's closet with a couple cans of Miller Lite, a bottle of muscle relaxers, a bag of homemade cookies, and a camera.

I hope the fat guy/menorah/Kinara/credit card pulls through for all of you. Please keep your favorite charities in mind. (Jock has a great one) Also, please be sure to post all of your blunders, made possible by too much egg nog/beer/muscle relaxers.

Bored? What's your top score?

Cheers!

Mark’s birthday is today. In his honor, I will do my best to thoroughly embarrass him.

Mark was the first born to his parents, and was dutifully raised as a hard-working farm boy. He is 6’3” tall, a full foot taller than me, and wears a size 13 shoe. He has never been in a fight…ever. At first, I was shocked upon hearing this, but then really, who in their right mind would even attempt to go up against him?

As the oldest child, he quickly took on the role of the “responsible one.” Although his mom and dad divorced, both were remarried, and he was given a sister and then a brother. Both still look up to him. This is amazing, considering he tortured his little brother, Josh, with stories of the “stick man” in the woods behind their house, and kicked a not-quite-frozen piece of cow poo at his sister’s head.

Mark took a masonry class in his high school and fell in love with the trade. He received a few awards for his skills and was offered a job before he even graduated, by a well-known area mason. He still loves his work today. In the past four years, he has taken one sick day, apart from his accident this year. The phrase “hard working” doesn’t do him justice.

Mark and I have been together for eight years, married for five. I’m happy to say that (most days) it doesn’t feel like that long. He’s the sane, level-headed, rational one. You all probably know that by now. He hated it when I was active as a firefighter, but supported me the entire time. He was uncomfortable with me rock climbing, but learned to accept that I loved it. Mark doesn’t try to change me, and I love him for that.

He is the most devoted father to our boys. He went to each and every prenatal visit with both of the kids. Mark would get up with the kids at night, even when he had work at 5 the next morning.

Some facts about Mark:
- My sister and I think he looks like a white Ice Cube (that is Ice Cube on the right, not Mark)
- His nickname is Dobber.
- He doesn’t have a middle name.
- Mark rarely remembers when my birthday is, but his brother, Josh, reminds him every year.
- Sometimes I call him Mierk. I don’t know why.
- Sometimes Dylan calls him Dobby.
- He has Carpal Tunnel in both wrists.
- He loves Christmas music-anytime of the year. It can transform his mood faster than a 6 pack
- Animals and children flock to him as they hide from me.
- He hates Sarah Jessica Parker without any logical reasons why.
- He grills vegetables better than anyone else I know.
- I almost lost him this year, and he has no idea how scared I still am.

Happy Birthday, Mierk.

Double the food, double the fun, double the fat

I know this post is a bit late. I've been sick, so lay off already! Gosh!

Thanksgiving (after stuffing our faces) ended up being exactly what it was intended to be. We had dinner twice (some of us had dessert three times) and we just enjoyed being with our families.

The highlights of the day came courtesy of Dylan and Lauren.

#1: Dylan, lover of pumpkin pies, decided to keep a piece of pie in his pocket in case he wanted "a little tasty" later on.

#2: A Conversation between Dylan and Irene, Mark's aunt's mom. (Got that?)
Dylan: Wow! You have really nice white hair!
Irene: Ha ha, yeah. Well thank you, Dylan.
Dylan: You're old.

#3: Lauren (in Taiwan) became a highlight when she called during dessert. Lauren calls via Google Talk, and my mom thought it would be appropriate to place the laptop (aka Lauren) next to me at the table. We screwed with her for a while, talking about how good the food was, squirting whipped cream close to the microphone, etc. In the end, after fake feeding her tons of pie, I felt like a jackass. She had a tiny piece of cold turkey and two marshmallows for dinner. Who's the clown now?

Ahh, holdiays. They would be nothing without a little random pie stashing and family insulting.