Here's the rundown:

Christmas Eve:
Mark and I notice that the cat, Big Band-Aid has a friend. She's a teeny tiny Calico cat. Dylan named her "Shellfish." We went to my mother's for Christmas Eve dinner.

Christmas:
The kids woke up at 12:50, 3:00, and then at 6:00. Everything's pretty much a blur of presents, mimosas, cookies, and Christmas Day dinner at the in law's.













December 26th:
My sister and I frantically shop the day away for Dylan's birthday presents. Leftovers from Christmas dinner at in law's house. I watched as Grandma won 90% of my money playing poker.

December 27th:
Dylan's 6th birthday. More presents, cake, some singing, 7 fake mustaches.


December 28th: Wake up with stiff neck. Cannot move head. Doctor prescribes muscle relaxers. Family dinner later that night with out-of-town family. I made a mental note on how the muscle relaxers and a cocktail make my Papa a reeeeealllly funny guy.

December 29th: Bowl games, beer, pizza, more beer.

December 30th: Mother in law's birthday. Hurry up and find a birthday present. Dinner out at restaurant. Head still not turning. Muscle relaxers make my ride home in the slippery snow fun. WEEEEEEEE! Good thing Mark drove.

December 31st: Paaaartaaaaaaayyyy! Multiple pictures going around of me with the entire bottle of something. Apparently I have no need for a glass.











What I learned in the past week/this year's resolutions:

• Use a glass. It won't make you a bad person. You weren't the only person to drink out of that Jaeger bottle. That's why your throat is on fire. Good job, sexy.
• When your friend's new girlfriend asks you to tell her honestly what you think of her, don't. She's lying. Say something nice.
  
• Get muscle relaxers whenever a family get-together arises.
  
• Stop having children around holidays. Make a new organization to let others in the world know of the dangers as well. Immediately cut off ties to anyone who has a birthday around a holiday.
• Don't play Mark's grandma in poker. She's 80lbs of pure poker hustler.
  
• Before spending a couple hundred dollars on each child for Christmas, consider buying only fake mustaches. That's all they like anyway.
• Jordan's comedic timing couldn't be any better (see video below).
• People must be punching me in my sleep. Where are the bruises coming from? Imagine my surprise when I saw a bruise on the inside of my bottom lip. How does that happen? WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?
  

I seriously doubt that I am the only one who feels like they just woke up after being stuck in a holiday-fueled tornado.