Pulling the cashmere over my eyes.
Some people have addiction issues, trust issues, control issues... the list goes on. I have issues. (Duh) The issue that confuses me the most about myself, is the one I have with textures and fabrics. More so the collaboration of the two in certain circumstances.
For instance, I love a good cotton t-shirt, and the feel of a nice, soft, lightweight cotton sweater is wonderful. Therefore, cotton must be good.
Unless it is in the form of a cotton ball or mitten. Not so much a swab though. Cotton balls are to me what nails on a chalkboard are to others. The sound (yes they do TO make a sound when you squish them), and the feel of them make me gag. Literally. Check my bathroom. Guess what you won't find? And mittens? Not so bad when they are worn for the first time. Once they get washed and get cotton balls hanging on them, I consider them garbage material. What's worse is when snow gets stuck on them. Blech.
Next on my list is velvet. Velvet is fine as a table runner or a pad underneath my lamps and flower pots to prevent scratching. Put it on any piece of clothing, and watch as I silently judge it for being so tacky. I blame this on the dress I wore to my sophomore semi-formal dance. Why, Mom, why?
Flannel. Oh, flannel. Besides my hatred for the sound of the word, (say it- weird, isn't it?) shirts (sometimes) are fine. Pajama pants and sheets are no bueno. The flannel (ew) sheets keep you warm in the winter, don't they? Yes, but you wake up in a pool of your own sweat in the morning... hair all stuck to the back of your sweaty neck...gross. Now, imagine what your bottom half endures when wearing flannel pajama pants. I'm just guessing here since I could never get the nerve to try them out for myself.
In conclusion, I will end with my issues with sweatpants in particular. I have a veeeery special place in my tiny, cold, shriveled up heart for sweatpants without so much as a speck of elastic at any- ANY- opening. The waistband should be adjusted via cotton or ribbon-esque tie. The openings at the ankles should not have any closings. I wear sweatpants for a very specific reason. That reason is comfort, and I will decide when and where restrictions in clothing should happen. I'll tell you that it is NEVER when I'm wearing sweatpants.
It appears from this angry rant of fabrics and their various forms that I will be wearing sweatpants at some point in the next few days.
Oh, and I don't like wool either.
For instance, I love a good cotton t-shirt, and the feel of a nice, soft, lightweight cotton sweater is wonderful. Therefore, cotton must be good.
Unless it is in the form of a cotton ball or mitten. Not so much a swab though. Cotton balls are to me what nails on a chalkboard are to others. The sound (yes they do TO make a sound when you squish them), and the feel of them make me gag. Literally. Check my bathroom. Guess what you won't find? And mittens? Not so bad when they are worn for the first time. Once they get washed and get cotton balls hanging on them, I consider them garbage material. What's worse is when snow gets stuck on them. Blech.
Next on my list is velvet. Velvet is fine as a table runner or a pad underneath my lamps and flower pots to prevent scratching. Put it on any piece of clothing, and watch as I silently judge it for being so tacky. I blame this on the dress I wore to my sophomore semi-formal dance. Why, Mom, why?
Flannel. Oh, flannel. Besides my hatred for the sound of the word, (say it- weird, isn't it?) shirts (sometimes) are fine. Pajama pants and sheets are no bueno. The flannel (ew) sheets keep you warm in the winter, don't they? Yes, but you wake up in a pool of your own sweat in the morning... hair all stuck to the back of your sweaty neck...gross. Now, imagine what your bottom half endures when wearing flannel pajama pants. I'm just guessing here since I could never get the nerve to try them out for myself.
In conclusion, I will end with my issues with sweatpants in particular. I have a veeeery special place in my tiny, cold, shriveled up heart for sweatpants without so much as a speck of elastic at any- ANY- opening. The waistband should be adjusted via cotton or ribbon-esque tie. The openings at the ankles should not have any closings. I wear sweatpants for a very specific reason. That reason is comfort, and I will decide when and where restrictions in clothing should happen. I'll tell you that it is NEVER when I'm wearing sweatpants.
It appears from this angry rant of fabrics and their various forms that I will be wearing sweatpants at some point in the next few days.
Oh, and I don't like wool either.
Labels: Psychosis
posted by Sarah at
Friday, November 16, 2007
3 Comments:
Either you spend a lot of money on behavioural therapy or you become a naturist.
If you choose option 2 it might be best to defer putting the plan fully into action until the summer.
I had a friend who couldn't stand the the texture of pizza bottoms. In fact he couldn't stand thinking about pizza bottoms. The only tactile sensation that creeps me out is my bare feet sinking into a mucky, weedy lake bed. Ewww.
BBB- agreed. It would save on detergent too
Joe- pizza bottoms? Wow. All of the algae creeps me out too.
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