Shit.

03/12/2006-05/16/2007

"Mama, I think something's wrong with Golden."

Yesterday was a very tough day for Dylan. It was the very first thing in the morning when Dylan discovered Golden at the top of his bowl. He was the very first living being in Dylan's life which had died.

Dylan spent the majority of the day sitting next to me, attempting to choke back his tears. He understood what the meaning of "dead" was. He said that Golden made him happy, and he was the greatest pet ever.

The only problem I had was trying to find something on tv which wouldn't remind him of his loss. While we watched some kid's show, guess what the brave children were "trying to eat?" Sushi. Okay, let's watch cartoons instead. Oh great, it's the show "The Wonder Pets!" The episode? "The Wonder Pets Save the Dolphin." I ended up letting Dylan play Nintendo.

We waited for Mark to come home from work. Dylan knew that we would have to bury him, but he didn't want to let go of him. Dylan wanted to keep him in the house forever, but when he resigned to burying him, he chose a spot in my garden, underneath the living room window. He liked knowing that Golden was near to where Dylan was.

Mark scooped Golden out (we had put a lovely yellow and white cloth over his bowl until then), wrapped him in paper towels, and gently placed Golden in a tiny box that he made. Dylan and I decided to draw pictures to put in the box with him. Tiny crayon pictures of little red fish with smiles surrounded by hearts brought on a fresh set of new tears.

Dylan put on his sneakers and my raincoat, flipped the hood onto his head, and stood in the garden with only his little legs showing. As the day's rain stopped for five minutes, we gathered around a tiny hole in the garden, placed Golden's box in, said our good-byes, covered him up, and placed a nice stone on top so we would always know where Golden was.

Yes, I know this seems all so dramatic. I was crying by the time we were done. Mark sarcastically asked if I thought I was going to "pull through" on this one. Asshole.

In true burial traditions, we went out to eat and celebrate Golden's life, and remember our favorite things about him....at McDonald's. On Friday we will go out to get a new fish. I think two days of bereavement is sufficient for little Golden. Dylan wants to get the new fish a new castle, because "that castle is Golden's house."

Bye, little buddy.